Love heals, love reconciles,
love helps us move when we are stuck,
love helps us cast out all fear…
- Rev. Laurel Hallman

Stewardship is a holistic concept that encompasses and connects how we understand and appreciate:  what we have been given and inherited, what we have earned, how we track and account for those resources, what we decide to do with them (according to our values/beliefs), and how we ensure that they are skillfully used to those purposes. As such, it is integral to our spiritual, ethical, and philosophical lives.

As people of faith, our programs and communications addressing stewardship must be congruent with our core belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all people. These approaches follow the same paths that we have learned are effective in challenging sexism, bias against sexual preference, and in anti-racism: We seek to reduce generalizations and discrimination (based on giving and economic status or the indicators of status), to encourage self-examination, to promote consciousness-raising, and to understand all people as interdependent, multi-faceted, and developing over the lifespan. Shaming, judgment, assumption, reproach, guilt, pressure, elitism, censure, and demanding language (or programs built on these concepts) are inappropriate and ineffective tools to open people’s hearts to deeper stewardship.

Aligned stewardship programs and communications use:

• Orientation toward individual spiritual needs as well as the needs of organizations
• An appreciative inquiry approach
• Empowerment and choice models
• Facilitation of personal development and spiritual growth
• Inspiration and leadership
• The provision of rich information (mission, planning, accounting, etc.) to increase motivation
• Respect for each person as a rich repository of diverse resources as well as individualized needs
• Caring systems (not cold, inhumane processes)
• A respect for the challenges inherent in countering our consumer culture by aligning our values with our resources
• An understanding of the reasonable fears and past wounding that may challenge a broadening of generosity
• A view of giving and receiving as dynamically linked

Below is a hotlink to a chart intended to provide language for responding to people who are negative, frustrated, or angry about the stewardship of others. Just click on the line below:

Language Choices in Stewardship

How do you see loving stewardship as opening hearts and hands to both give and receive in your congregation? What language do you use to help you convey that?

If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time.
But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine,
then let us work together.
- Lilla Watson, Murri (Aboriginal Australian) visual artist, activist and educator

Over time a theme has emerged on this blog; that is the relationship between charitable contributors, organizations who engage them, and the beneficiaries who are supported by their efforts. This can be seen in many of the postings under the category Contributor Relationships (in the gold bar on the left).  Kim Samuel-Johnson recently posted a frank and poignant essay about her struggles as a philanthropist to be in relationship as a contributor. She says:

I’ve noticed that isolation, or at least a feeling of bleak separation, can occur in the very act of philanthropy; that sometimes the manner in which the gift is made diminishes and isolates both the person who is seen as giving and the person who is seen as receiving.

Ms. Samuel-Johnson is the president of the Samuel Foundation and a board member of The Synergos Institute. Synergos publishes the online newsletter Global Giving Matters and this essay is the first to look at the inner journey of a philanthropist.

Samuel-Johnson is concerned with the isolation that comes from having financial resources out of scale with others; this can make her feel like an outsider. She is advocating that the contributors, service providing organizations, and beneficiaries join together as a community of concern. This is reflected in postings on this Generosity Path blog such as A Relationship with Beneficiaries. She says is beautifully here:

So, far from feeling separated out as “the person with the money,” or the outsider in some other way, I feel the boundaries between the “me” and the “they” disappear. I feel welcome as part of, if you like, the family. This means a lot to me.
And yet – and this is important – there has to be a clarity and an honesty about what it is that each of us can bring. In my case, I try to bring a lot of passion and very high standards, two qualities I consider essential for philanthropy, because we all need to engage both the heart and the mind. I’ve also brought monetary resources, which are generally not unimportant.
In the case of others, though, they have brought resources of comparable or greater value, including knowledge of the community, management or other skills, creativity, hard-won knowledge, or a commitment to see the project through. In a way, mine may have been the easiest contribution to secure!

In the essay Samuel-Johnson also connects giving and receiving into one dynamic, where both givers and receivers benefit in their own way. She says,

I finally understand that if the giving and receiving is done with the right spirit, from all corners, bearing in mind that we are all giving and receiving simultaneously, then money is a facilitator, not my “gift” per se but instead an expression of my commitment, and an important one at that.

And here she lays out a vision of how this contributor/beneficiary relationship can honor everyone’s contributions and reduce isolation for all of the collaborators:

If the giving and receiving is shared and if everyone is able to come to the table, roll up his or her sleeves, and work together with an understanding of the interests, experience, passion, and goals that brought us together, then each of our needs will have already been factored into the initiative.
What is left then is simply a group of people creating something new together, in harmony, where no one at the table and from there outwards to the various partners or constituents feels like they are ever alone. I interpret this kind of collaboration as stemming from a wholesome and generous spirit of giving and receiving, a place of being included.

This is beautiful, brave, and counter-cultural work Samuel-Johnson is doing. It is also a spiritual journey, where she is working to live out her values. BRAVO!

A true vision of peace sees a continuous mutuality between giving and receiving. Let’s never give anything without asking ourselves what we are receiving from those to whom we give, and let’s never receive anything without asking what we have to give to those from whom we receive.
- Henri Nouwen

Tara Brach

For Tara Brach, generosity can come as spontaneously as our breath; it is the natural outflow from receiving, from being grateful. Brach is an author, a Buddhist meditation teacher, and leader of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington (DC). She guides her students to use meditation, their acute sensory awareness, and to cultivate a consciousness of the present moment — which she calls Natural Presence.

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in 2007, Brach gave a talk called Gratitude and Generosity. In it she pointed out that breath can become a guide to living life fully; that you can breathe in, let the breath come in fully and deeply, and understand the experience as an expression of receptivity. Then breathing out and really letting go of the breath, surrendering it, can be understood as an expression of generosity, of offering into the world.

Gratitude has everything to do with happiness.
- Tara Brach

For Brach, gratitude is a recognition and appreciation, which confirms a sense of abundance in the world. This leads naturally to generosity.  She notes that people who are happy are appreciating life and that their happiness flows out naturally into the world, as a gift. However this recognition and appreciation, which precedes gratitude, is only possible by being truly present in the moment and place we inhabit, by seeing things as they are, and by letting reality as it is flow through us. She contrasts this with being caught up in our thoughts, memories, and judgments about the present reality, which distracts us from what actually is.

Since she lives near a river, Brach uses the river metaphor to deepen her explanation of being in natural presence. She says that similar to when we are standing in a river, if we allow the water to flow through and around us rather than trying to fight the current or control the flow of the water, we are more stable and secure. With our consciousness, if we allow the flow of life we are more present and free, and giving also flows more naturally. In this way generosity is an expression of inner freedom.

Brach believes that the basic way of expressing our abundance, freedom, and generosity is to give our blessings to other people, to give our love. She tells a tale from Rachel Naomi Remen’s book, My Grandfather’s Blessings. When Remen was young her grandfather would spend time and tell her about her goodness. He gave her a name, Neshumela, which means little beloved soul. After his death, Remen realized that she had learned to see herself through his eyes, as blessed. She says, “Once blessed we are blessed forever.”

So breathe in as a practice of receiving, practice meditation as a way to cultivate natural presence, as a way to feel the abundance of the world. And breathe out, giving your presence as a gift. Brach exhorts us to then: tell the people in your life about their goodness, bless them, and let them know your love – out loud.

Gratefulness is flowing from my heart.
- Hezekiah Walker

Listen to the Gospel song Grateful by Hezekiah Walker:

Photo by Joe Kosack / Pennsylvania Game Commission

There is a folk tale about the Buddha called ‘The Banyan Deer.’ It is actually a story that occurs in a lifetime before the Buddha was born as a human. In this life he was a deer and grew to be the leader of his herd. The herd lived in a forest where the local king loved to hunt. The king rode with his courtiers through all parts of the country, hunting every type of animal and bird until the people who lived in the region could no longer stand the trampling and pillaging of the lands. They decided to build a stockade in the forest, 2 herds of deer were driven in, and the king was invited to hunt there.

Already in the story we have a leader who is not helping his people to be successful, in fact he is harming their livelihood and ability to steward their shared resources. The king at this point sees himself as quite separate from his subjects and certainly the animals of his kingdom.

When the king came to hunt in the stockade, aside from those the king killed, many deer were injured in the chaos and panic during the hunt. The Banyan Deer (Buddha) and leader of the other herd came to an agreement that every other day, a deer from each herd would offer itself to the king so that the others might live and not be injured. The King, seeing the nobility of the two deer leaders commanded that they not be killed, and noticing the single deer offering itself to be killed, decided to only shoot that one deer.

This is a change in the king prompted by the deer’s actions; he recognizes that there are certain deer which appear to be different and agrees to temper his pleasure by honoring a tacit agreement. Meanwhile, the leaders of the deer herds are concerned about every deer equally and make an agreement that adapts to the situation while using fairness to choose the deer to sacrifice.

As it happened one of the deer chosen by lot to be sacrificed was pregnant so pleaded with the Banyan Deer to allow her to give birth before giving her life. The Banyan deer agreed, but realized that he himself must take her place. When the king sees this, he engages the Banyan Deer in dialogue (such is the stuff of folktales!).  The king asks him why he offers himself and the Banyan Deer answers,

Great King, what ruler can be free if the people suffer?

The king is moved and offers to free the Banyan Deer’s herd. However the stag does not accept because the other herd would then suffer even more. Because of the nobility and resolute concern of the Banyan Deer, the king agrees to free both herds. The deer does not accept because all of the other 4-footed creatures would still be subject to hunting saying,

Ruru (Deer) Jataka, bas-relief, Bhārhut, Indian, 2nd century BCE

There can be no peace unless they too are free

The Banyan deer goes on to refuse and ask for more until the king has agreed that no living creatures - animals, birds, or fish, shall be killed in his kingdom.  After making a proclamation to that effect, the king said,

“Now I am at peace!” and leaped for joy.

In this folktale, one leader teaches another that one’s suffering effects everyone; he teaches it through his own willingness to sacrifice in order to hold his values. A king finds peace by halting his careless destruction and awards freedom to all creatures.

What ideas can we find in this fable that are applicable in our modern world? How can an ancient king and a talking deer speak to the challenges facing our leaders today? It is impossible to get action steps or implementation tips from a myth; they operate at a deeper level – the level of values. Here are some of the leadership values I find in this teaching story. Which do you find?

• Compassion for others
  
• Generosity to those who serve us
  
• Respect for all people
  
• How communication can unite
  
• The power of community
• Willingness to change

To read this tale in a more original version and find other folktales about generosity, see the Learning To Give website.

According to a recent Washington Post-ABC News poll (Recession Taking Emotional Toll, New Poll Finds), “Stress and pessimism about the economy are closely related, as almost four in 10 who said the economy is getting worse also said they are under deep stress.” That same poll found that, of people who believe it is improving, a majority of those people called the economy a source of stress. So what can you do to ease your stress and feel better? Sharon Salzberg suggests asking a key question:

What do I really need right now, in this moment, to be happy?
- Sharon Salzberg

Sharon Salzberg

Salzberg is a Buddhist teacher and author, and cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Barre, Massachusetts. In her article in Shambala Sun, Salzberg gives a number of examples to show that, in a moment when you are experiencing unhappiness or stress, if you can try to identify something immediate that will make you happy – that is not in the future or unreachable – it may change the moment so that you can be satisfied.

She also talks about how generosity can make us free – by challenging our craving, attachment, and clinging to things, which brings confinement and lack of self-esteem. In freeing up ourselves when we give, we also give freedom to others, she says,

If we give a gift freely, without attachments  …it celebrates  freedom both within ourselves as the giver and in the receiver.  In that moment, we are not relating to each other in terms of roles or differences.   In a moment of pure giving, we really become one.

Salzberg also brings the idea that feeling we have enough can relieve us from feeling wanting and allow us to be generous to others. She says,

One of the great joys that comes from generosity is the understanding that no matter how much or how little we have by the world’s standards, if we know we have enough, we can always give something.

These are very important questions to ask ourselves in this time of recession and uncertainty:

• How much is enough?
• How much do I really need?
• What non-material things will stimulate me and make me feel good?
• How do I live more in the moment and experience more gratitude?

The only difference between needing more and having enough is your attitude.
It costs you nothing to decide that you have enough.
- Ralph Marston

It is the ordinary people who are going to pull us out of this.
It is us that have to do something different.
- Naomi Remen

Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen

What are you doing in your own life to change our global economic downturn? So that our human society becomes more sustainable? Are you saving more, sharing more, hoarding more, spending more, giving more away? What is the right thing to do and how do you know that? Dr. Remen suggests some even deeper questions will lead you to your own answers.

Rachel Naomi Remen is a wise older woman. She has cared for people with cancer and their families for almost 30 years and is the Co-Founder and Medical Director of the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. Dr. Remen is also the Clinical Professor of Family and Community Medicine at the UCSF School of Medicine and the author of Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal and My Grandfather’s Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge and Belonging.

In a brief interview with Kate Moos of the radio program Speaking of Faith, Dr. Remen makes the extraordinary observation that because money is something you can actually touch, it is the densest form of both stored human energy and of human community, otherwise it is just paper.  She says that this energy follows our beliefs and the economy is based on people’s shared beliefs. What is a good life? she asks. The answer to that question drives our economy.

Remen suggests that, if you want to find out who a person is, you might find out by following them around and see how they spend their money, and what they spend it on. Doing this you will be able to determine their story about life, about themselves, about what is important to them. So what do we believe now? What are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, about other people, about the world? What are the stories that have become our operations manuals? Remen suggests that collectively we have been operating based on these stories:

• I am alone. I have to count on myself. No one will come and help me.
• The more things I have, the more happy I will be. My goal in life is comfort.
• I am not safe.

Remen believes that we have been based on fear for a long time. With this fear, our human energy has become stagnant, our money has become stagnant, and our stories have become fixed and inflexible; these stories have been much too small. The opportunity during this time of economic crisis is to change the story; we are larger than our stories, we are part of a much larger story.

The economy is a pointing finger to a spiritual emptiness
we have been experiencing for a long time.
-Naomi Remen

So how do we change our stories, individually and collectively? Dr. Remen suggests that we contemplate 3 key questions:

• What can I trust?
• What can sustain me?
• What do I really need in order to live?

These questions lead us to a deeper, more passionate, better way of living and a much deeper connection to a larger reality. Once we have the beginnings of the answers to these questions, we will start forming new stories about money and its role in our lives. These stories will lead us to actions we can take to deal with the economic downturn and to heal our economic system.

What star are you using to guide your boat through this life?
Often you can see the light from your star only after it has grown dark.
- Naomi Remen

Here is a brief excerpt of Dr. Remen speaking about how individuals are the key to changing our world, not experts:

Fear builds walls. Fearlessness builds bridges.
- Bunan Unsui

Bert Larh as the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz

According to the Online Etymological Dictionary, the word donation originates from Middle French, circa 1425, and from the Latin donatio, circa 10th century BC. This dictionary also suggests a comparison to the even older Sanskrit word danam, circa 1200 BC. This oldest form of a word for generosity may help us understand how to be fearless in this time of economic uncertainty.

The Sanskrit term Dána (from danam) is used in the Buddhist tradition as one of the 6 Perfections or Paramitas. According to Bunan Unsui, a Buddhist monk, these perfections represent passage points from suffering (Samsara) to happiness and awakening (Nirvana).  According to Unsui, the Dána Paramita (or Perfection of Generosity),

is the practice of giving freely, without attachment or expectation. This can be giving in the monetary sense, or giving of our time, our love, and ourselves - giving of our presence. Regardless of what is given, or why it is given, the very act of giving must, by definition, involve the act of ‘letting go’ by one of the parties involved.

Unsui provides 3 types of giving in the Dána Paramita, 1) giving of wealth or material resources, 2) giving of teaching, and 3) giving of fearlessness. He says,

Courageousness and bravery are not products of the reduction of fear, but of transcending fear… of going beyond fear… of acting according to our values despite the presence of fear!

So the question is, how can we hold and recognize our fears, whether they are about our current economic situation, our prospects in the foreseeable future, or even what will happen to our resources many years from now, and still act concurrently with our values? According to this Buddhist tradition, by being fearless and continuing to be generous, we are not only benefiting ourselves and moving along a path to happiness, we are also giving fearlessness to others.

Think about it. Letting go of your fear and acting that out through being generous in giving to others, your gifts can not only provide for the material needs of others, but can also inspire them to be brave and move toward a fearless place themselves.

Buddha Teaching Fearlessness by FrogBoots http://my.opera.com/FrogBoots/blog/

If you knew what I know about the power of generosity,
you would not let a single meal go by without sharing it.
—Buddha

Photo: Hugo Tavares

According to the Everyday Yiddish-English-Yiddish Dictionary, Farginen means to wish well; to not begrudge, to not envy; to indulge. In order to indulge and not envy other people, we need to cherish other people’s joys and not focus on our own state; we need to cultivate our generosity. Being present and witnessing another person is an act of generosity, this applies whether they are suffering or jubilant. Sometimes witnessing grief is actually easier for us. As with other practices of generosity, it grows as you use it and you may find that your own bliss increases as a result of creating or witnessing another’s joy. This post has some tips on how to do that.

Yiddish has a very special verb, unknown to most other languages: farginen. It means to open space, to share pleasure; it is the exact opposite of the verb to envy. While envy means disliking or resenting the happiness of others, farginen means making a pact with another individual’s pleasure or happiness.
- Rabbi Nilton Bonder, The Kabbalah of Envy

Rabbi Bonder suggests this practice as a way to grow our own farginen (or as he writes, “our ability to farginen”):

We must first recall from our own experience those moments when we were able to do it (make a pact with another individual’s pleasure or happiness). And if this feeling was sincere, it will certainly have been felt with great happiness, a kind of catharsis. Every time we are able to celebrate someone else’s happiness, we will, by definition, have greater reason to celebrate ourselves. In this way, we can widen our chances for enjoying life, freeing ourselves from the imprisonment of our own luck. Farginen sets up networks of confidence that enrich life.

This practice may seem passive and easy on our part – we do not have to “make” or “donate” anything. But think to yourself: how often am I able to relish in another’s joy or good fortune? It might be worth finding out.

Task:

• Today, look for someone around that is happy, is celebrating something they have done, or has had something good happen to them.
• If you go through a whole day and do not see anyone in that state – that might tell you something too! In any case keep an eye out.
• When you find someone who is expressing happiness, try to notice your first reaction. Whatever it is, do not judge yourself, just notice.
• Is it tied to that particular person, to what they are happy about, or to what is going on for you at that moment?
• Let us know what you find out!

I am grateful to the Fetzer Institute’s Campaign for Love and Forgiveness for helping me make the connection between farginen and generosity, and to Humanity Healing Network for this video:

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
- Victor Borge

According to the Wonder Time parenting blog, a baby’s first laugh in the Navaho tradition is, a sign of joy that signals his desire to join his earth family and community. The Up Your Consciousness Blog states that the baby’s first laugh, marks its birth as a social being for the Navaho.

Whoever is present at the first laugh is considered in some way responsible for that event. That person is not only in charge of arranging the Baby Laughed Ceremony for the child, it is also thought that the infant takes on the qualities of that person.

The A’wee Chi’deedloh (The Baby Laughed Ceremony in Navaho language) is a social event where guests file past the baby with plates full of food. With the help of an adult, the baby then gives a pinch of salt to each plate as a symbolic act of generosity. The salt is meant to rekindle and sustain the goodness in each recipient. It is also considered to kindle the generosity in the baby and be the first in a lifetime of generous acts.

To close the ceremony, at the end of the meal, either the host (who witnessed the first laugh) or a family elder blesses the baby, wishing for a life of generosity and gratitude.

The Up Your Consciousness Blog give these helpful lessons to draw from this ceremony:

• We’re social beings, thriving mainly in the company and support of others.
• Generosity is a noble virtue, best instilled from birth.
• Opportunities to celebrate generosity remind us of and regenerate our goodness.
• An act of kindness raises the endorphins of not only the receiver, but also of the giver, and of everyone who witnesses it.
• Genuine, heartfelt laughter is an act of generosity!

The salt of life is selfless service.
- Sri Swami Sivananda, Hindu Spiritual Teacher

From the Von Stroheim film Greed

If your desires be endless, your cares and fears will be so too.
- Thomas Fuller

There has been an enormous amount written recently on, regulation is being tightened in the US to counteract, and people all over the country are angry about - greed. Our whole worldwide financial crisis is being attributed to this one vice. According to the Miriam-Webster Online Dictionary, greed is: a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed. What fuels greed? When people cannot get enough of something, what does it indicate? I believe that underlying all greed is fear and that the way to address that fear is to 1) acknowledge it, 2) explore it, and 3) act to lessen it. In the case of the fear that leads to greed, the ideal way to lessen it is to act generously. This not only reduces the amount of whatever we are being greedy with, it also teaches that we will have enough; we will be enough. With practice, we can come to believe this is true and have confidence in this truth.

Greed, like the love of comfort, is a kind of fear.
- Cyril Connolly

Dr Richard Chartres, the Bishop of London, in an article on the BBC News website, says,
A financial crisis is not something which can be fixed in a technical way because there is the spiritual dimension of trust and confidence. All financial markets are based on confidence - the root of that word is to have faith together. This speaks specifically to the fact that a lot of our current financial crisis is actually driven by reactions to greed; they are a lack of trust, confidence, and collective faith.

Mona Siddiqui, professor of Islamic Studies at Glasgow University in Scotland, in the same article provides a rational grounding for many of us in the USA: However bad the media tells us the world economy is, for most of us in the developed world we still have a house, a job, and money coming in.  Two decades of easy money has led most of us into thinking that we can have all our fantasies - the big house, the fancy car, exotic holidays and gadgets which get better as they get smaller. Our wants have turned into needs, but we forget the needs of others who never spend, who have nothing. Globalization has given us insight into the lives of different people, but it has failed to make us appreciate that we are all connected.

There is enough on the planet for everyone’s need
but not enough for one man’s greed.
- Mahatma Gandhi

Key Questions:

• What do you fear in this economic climate? How has that changed how you feel about your life? Your future?
• When do you feel interconnected in your community, with everyone else on this planet? When do you feel isolated?
• When do you feel greed? What specific things or experiences do you feel greedy with?
• Has greed ever caused you to suffer? How did that suffering manifest?
• Have you ever noticed that you had been greedy about something and you no longer are? To what do you attribute that change?
• Have you ever had the experience of giving something away and never missing it? Or a feeling that you have gained more than you gave?

How I invest and spend may touch the lives of people in distant places, whose names I’ll never know, whose hopes I never think about.
- Shaunaka Rishi Das of the Oxford Centre for Hindu Studies