Barack Obama as a student at Harvard

Twenty years ago Barack Obama was a law student at Harvard. He had been working as a community organizer in Chicago so his finances must have been somewhat modest. According to an article by Siril Herseth in the Norwegian online news source VG Nett, at that time Obama was traveling through the Miami airport. In the check-in line he was standing behind a woman who was crying.

Mary Menth Andersen was in the process of moving to Norway to join her new husband. She had culled her possessions to two suitcases and had just been told that she would have to pay a $103 surcharge to bring both suitcases with her. Since her husband was already in Norway, he could not help her, and she did not have enough money to pay the surcharge.

Mary explained the situation to the agent, but he could not help her. She recounts:

I started to cry, tears were pouring down my face and I had no idea what to do. Then I heard a gentle and friendly voice behind me saying, ‘That’s OK, I’ll pay for her.’

It was Barack Obama. She was thrilled and thanked him repeatedly, vowing to pay the money back. He paid the fee, wrote his name and address (in Kansas) on a piece of paper, and waved to her as she headed for security. She sent money to the address the day after she arrived in Norway.

Mary’s parents live in the United States. In 2006, when Obama was serving as a US Senator, they wrote to him, thanking him for helping their daughter and vowing to vote for him if he decided to run for the Presidency. Senator Obama replied to the letter with this note on his Senate stationary:

I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami airport. I’m happy I could help back then, and I’m delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama, United States Senator

Mary Menth Andersen with the letter from Senator Obama to her parents

This is probably not an unusual story. People are routinely generous to each other and spontaneously step in to help other people who are in distress.  Click on Stories in the left navigation bar of this blog to see some graceful examples of these. What is unusual about this story is that the generous student went on to become our current US President.

• Obama voluntarily stepped into a private interaction to help a stranger
• He cheerfully trusted her with his financial resources
• He was gracious in acknowledging Mary’s parent’s letter, taking his time to write a personal note and even thanking them

With figures as public as the US President or a US Senator, every action is recorded, scrutinized, and judged. In addition, the protections, comforts, and resources that accompany powerful position like these may make it easier to be gracious and generous. However, this was Barack Obama when he was an unknown and unobserved private citizen, not surrounded with protection, and with far more modest resources. It may or may not say something about his character, but it certainly says something positive about his empathetic reactions. I am greatly cheered by this story; it fuels my optimism for how he may react to people’s needs right now in the USA and all through his Presidency.

Photo by Alex Brandon -- Associated Press

In our culture, we are often called to “pay back” for gifts that we have received. This can be either a reciprocal gift to the person or organization that supported us, or “paying it forward.” Paying it forward is another form of reciprocal giving, except it repays someone else, not the person who gave the original gift (the term was popularized by Robert A. Heinlein in his book Between Planets and more recently by Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel and the film adaptation of the same name, Pay It Forward). I believe that this quid pro quo, or “something for something”, approach to giving creates limitations for both the giver and the receiver in realizing their true potentials and their greatest satisfactions. President Obama would seem to agree, based on his recently published letter to his daughters. This may alter how you think about what and how you give, and how you receive assistance and gifts of all kinds.

Really receiving, what I call generous receiving can be healing for the recipient and can also create a sense of belonging for the giver. For more on these ideas, see my posts Healing and Receiving and Receiving and Belonging. You will notice in each of those discussions that paying back plays no part in those concepts. In fact, if you receive something and immediately start to move toward paying that person back (or paying it forward), then you have cut off the receiving experience for yourself and probably denied some satisfaction for the giver. This can be seen from the giver’s standpoint as well, if you consider an instance where you offered a gift and the recipient seemed to ignore your effort while trying to create an immediate return. How about just some moments of recognition and gratitude instead?

Beyond these interpersonal dynamics, I believe that a reason to be generous, in both giving and receiving, is to further your own personal and spiritual development. In being generous, you must reach outside of your normal actions and fields of concern. You must see a charitable need in someone you do not know or the group they belong to, you must understand the needs of someone you do know and care about  -  even if they appear to be well-off, or you must acknowledge the risk someone is taking in giving a gift to you. This requires some empathy with the people who are either giving to you or receiving your gifts. It is this putting yourself in the other person’s shoes that allows you to be truly generous. This is by definition growing beyond yourself; it is joining an effort to make positive change in the world.

President Obama echoes this sentiment in his recent letter to his daughters, Malia and Sasha, which was  published in Parade Magazine:

I hope both of you will take up that work (the unfinished work of perfecting our union), righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you’ve had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

Photo by Alex Brandon -- Associated Press

While acknowledging with gratitude what has been given to his family, President Obama states here that his daughters (and we) will never truly realize what they are capable of unless they reach out beyond their personal concerns. That in “righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you’ve had”, they are going beyond a sense of obligation – of just paying back - to grow into their fullest capabilities.

Take-aways:

• Give generously from your heart and to right wrongs
• Expect only your own personal satisfaction in return
• Do not wait to be generous until you are motivated by “paying it forward”
• Explore your true potential by learning about what other people are experiencing, and contributing to something larger than yourself

Here is a video of children from All Souls Church, Unitarian in Washington DC reading President Obama’s letter to  Malia and Sasha (from CBS Videos):

Watch CBS Videos Online

Photo by Marc Nozell used under a Creative Commons license

I am a supporter and fan of President Barack Obama’s. Stepping back from that for a more objective view, I ask myself: what is it in his messages that so motivates people to give generously of their time and resources to help him meet his vision? What can we learn about promoting engagement and generosity from Obama’s statements?

Obama’s official website: barakobama.com is still active, although now whitehouse.gov is his official Presidential web site. Right at the top of the Obama website, in the header that shows up on every page there is a photo of Obama and Biden, the campaign logo of the sun over red and white stripes, and these words:

I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about change in Washington…  I’m asking you to believe in yours.

This text is positioned where his statement of purpose might be placed, or a tag line for a commercial brand, or a mission statement for an organization. Instead he gives a call to action, but it is an action of the spirit: to believe. Rather than self-promotion, he makes the most prominent message on the page about me, the reader or us, the readers. In not distinguishing between the singular you and the plural you, he implies a unified group made up all of his readers, which gives me belonging in that shared purpose of bringing about change. The text clearly implies that Obama needs our help; it portrays us (Obama and his readers) as unified in our efforts - we will make the change in Washington. It also connotes that our belief is a powerful tool that can fuel both our ability, and his, to bring about change. In this use of generously inclusive, trusting and empowering language with his readers, and his appeal to our interior, spiritual resources, Obama’s message is truly inspiring.

Below this header, on the home page of the Obama website is a video announcing the conversion of his election campaign into a new public service effort called Organizing for America. Below is his video announcement. When you watch it, look for language that includes and empowers the viewer (because of you, you built, you shaped the future, we have listened carefully to you, you shared your ideas, you drive our organization, we cannot do this without you, you must lead the way, everything you have done). Also look for language that calls us to something larger than our individual concerns (the largest grass roots movement in history, too important to stop, hundreds of thousands of you, for this movement and for this country). And look for the ways our new President makes a connection between you, the viewer and himself. Notice how he does this with his body language, his facial expressions, his intonation, and his words (I look forward to continuing…with you, I thank you for everything).

Take-aways:

• Make your readers the topic of the copy in the most prominent location
• Make it a call to action – ask for assistance
• Write or speak directly to your audience
• Use you and make sure it applies to a single reader and all of your readers
• When speaking to motivation (internal) use language of that realm (internal/spiritual)
• Be inclusive and give a sense of belonging – trust the readers
• Empower your readers with real tasks
• Let them know that you are really listening to them
• Make the connection between your reader’s actions and something larger and nobler
• Be authentic – people can smell insincerity even through the internet
• Always, always say Thank You

I was working recently with a group of people who were so stuck in the idea that they were financially poor, they were so fearful in their present (and imminent) financial situation, that it limited their vision. This tunnel vision made it impossible for them to see or appreciate the gifts that they had been given by people in the past, the beauty and abundance that surrounds them, and the incredible potential of the future. Not surprisingly, they were also so worried about their own state, and that of the institution that housed them, that they failed to see opportunities to support others, reach out to others, or invite others in. Unfortunately, according to some experts, this myopia will not only make them unhappy, but will do further harm our already struggling economy.

Carlos Hoevel

Carlos Hoevel is a professor of history and philosophy of economics at the Pontifical Catholic University of Argentina, who has been doing research on Blessed Antonio Rosmini, an 18th century Italian Roman Catholic priest and philosopher. Rosmini was one of the first Catholic thinkers to embrace the market economy and strongly believed that it couldn’t function without an ethical and moral foundation.

Antonio Rosmini

Hoevel was asked what Rosimini’s solution would be to the current crisis. His response was that, according to the Rosmini’s vision, what we most need now is not so much the endless injection of billions of dollars and euros into the economy and heavy government interference, but the urgent recovery of moral balance and moral content. What he is saying here is that changing how we treat each other will help our economy recover much more than infusing cash into the system and attempting to make everyone financially better off.

Arthur C. Brooks

Arthur C. Brooks, is the recently elected president of the American Enterprise Institute, a conservative think tank, and author of Gross National Happiness: Why Happiness Matters for America — and How We Can Get More of It. He says,

People who give away their time and money to established charities are far more likely than non-givers to act generously in informal ways as well. For example, one nationwide survey from 2002 tells us that monetary donors are nearly three times as likely as non-donors to give money informally to friends and strangers. People who give to charity at least once per year are twice as likely to donate blood as people who don’t give money. They are also significantly more likely to give food or money to a homeless person, or to give up their seat to someone on a bus.

In other words, people who are generous are much more likely to act morally is a range of situations.  Brooks also says,

There is evidence that giving makes people happy. A number of studies have concluded that giving affects our brain chemistry. People who give often report feelings of euphoria, which psychologists have referred to as the ‘Helper’s High.’ They believe that charitable activity induces endorphins that produce a very mild version of the sensations people get from drugs like morphine and heroin.

So by being generous, we have an opportunity to be happier while we are acting more morally. If an 18th century philosopher can be believed, that may also be a way back to economic stability and growth.

Through my network and in the news I have been hearing about lay-offs at nonprofits and how some are struggling to implement their missions in this challenging economic climate. Lists on the internet of techniques to weather tough times are common with any Google search. They are reasonable and practical: Work Harder! Avoid Fundraising-Cuts, etc. Here are some from the Chronicle of Philanthropy and the blog Philantopic. You should look at them as they give sound advice.

On a deeper level, your contributors have their own needs right now; needs that you may be addressed with support that you, the nonprofit where they contribute, can help provide. As you know, most people can smell schmoozing or a patronizing attitude, so these must be done from a place of authentic care. Otherwise, don’t bother as they will backfire.

Be a Resource to Your Contributors
Although everyone may not be strongly affected by the down economy, almost everyone is feeling some fear about their security right now. Communicate to your contributors that you may be fearful too, but you are excited about your mission activities and, together with them, are carrying on the good work. Let them know how your mission work fills up your cup and share your full cup with them. Your inspiration may help them get through this period by making sure there is some good news mixed in with any bad news they are getting.

Give them More
When people are fearful, we tend to pull back and guard our resources. This easily spreads to other people so that everyone disconnects from each other and everyone’s generosity starts to dry up. You can counter this by being even more generous, which also spreads. Find ways to be more giving to your contributors that do not cost you extra money. E-mail them a photo of themselves with other contributors or send them a link to something on the web that might make them smile. Beauty is always healing, so make sure your communications have a lovely image or positive literary quote. Humor too is cathartic. Most nonprofit staff people have a wry-humor cartoon stored in their computer. This may be just the time to send it to some of your contributors.

Strengthen their Faith and Courage
These are a hard time to have faith in a better future. However faith is a trust in something and not a guarantee for the future, so can be grown even in barren soil. If you have faith in the future of your mission activities, you should convey that to your contributors now. Let them know you are not only staying the course but planning to fight for the mission in new ways. This is not business-as-usual; it is having the courage to carry on where your calling leads you. If your beneficiaries live lives where they need courage every day, send out some examples to your contributors, along with a quote about being courageous in hard times.

Be a Generous Receiver
How you receive contributions can make your contributors feel a sense of belonging with you, which they do. See my post about Receiving and Belonging. Look at your acknowledgment process and statements to make sure they reflect not only the times we are in, but deep gratitude.

Build Your Community and Support Interdependence
We will all get through this time by relying on our communities in new ways. Your contributors, your staff colleagues, and the people you serve are all members of a single community of concern. Find ways to build that community so that people can help meet each other’s needs regardless of the role that they hold. Try having a special gathering and ask this coalition to dialogue together about how to gain the resources (not just money!) to move forward together. Or put a new page on your web site for sending out good wishes to specific people. If you hear that one of your contributor’s employers is downsizing, send them a note offering support.

Give Contributors Other Opportunities to Give
Welcome monetary as well as non-monetary contributions from your contributors, and be specific in how they can help: volunteer time, skills, or in-kind donations. Especially if your organization has recently paired down its staff, you could use the help. People want to be asked specifically and will become closer to your mission in the process. This may give them meaning in a time when their job is a constant source of stress.

Connect Contributors More Directly to Your Beneficiaries
Your contributors probably have more resources than the beneficiaries of your mission activities. By engaging them directly with each other, your contributors will have a better sense of how much difference they can make, will feel better about their own situations, and may gain coping skills that your beneficiaries are already practicing.

The reality of these tough times is that we all have to be more conscious about our material resources. That probably means distilling our contributions down to things that are dearest to us personally, or that help enact a personal mission. The good news is that we can be even more generous in non-monetary ways to help build our communities, be resources for each other in new ways, encourage each other’s faith and courage, and connect to people outside of our normal circles. This is not candy coating or denial – things may be tough and will probably get tougher. But by being generous now to our contributors and the people we serve, we will gain their loyalty and carry them with us into better times.

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but the triumph over it.

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,

but he who conquers that fear.

- Nelson Mandela

Every time I extend my hand to someone, put something down or pick something up, my sleeve gaps and I see the green string on my wrist reminding me to be generous. It is a thin and unobtrusive string, close to my skin, so I do not usually feel it. Still that little strand of bright green catches my notice and reminds me to consider my actions in that moment.

As you may surmise, I think about generosity all of the time. I search for information pertaining to generosity (and its synonyms), read about it, talk to people about it, consider it in different social and religious contexts, study how it works in the nonprofit world, and write about it. Yet, those more academic engagements with the topic are not the same as being more generous, which has been my own goal all along. I find that by being more attentive, having more patience and faith, it is much easier to be generous from situation to situation. When I am rushed, irritated, or fearful, I have to make a more extreme effort to be generous. So wearing this little piece of green floss on my wrist has engaged me with the topic in a different way.

In the previous posting, I challenged readers to join me in making a resolution to be more generous in 2009 and gave a link to a group that I set up on Facebook. That group has grown rather quickly and I have heard from people who I have never met before, who are not even friends of my friends. This has invigorated my interest in finding usable tools for people who strive to be more generous in both their giving and their receiving. For me it is chiefly about little things we can do wherever we are and whatever engagement we are having. Here is a good list of small and practical things we can do to be more generous from the blog Just Plain Joy:

• Pass along the last great book you read.
• If a waiter or service person does a good job, let their boss know.
• Open the door for a mother with a stroller.
• Call to thank someone who made an impact on you.
• Attend a community fundraiser.
• Give a donation the next time you’re asked.
• Send a friend in need an anonymous traveler’s check.
• Spend an afternoon with a senior citizen in your family.
• Drop a dollar in a street musician’s dish.
• Pick up trash on the beach.
• Let someone pass you in the check-out line.
• If asked for help, give it.
• Send your mother flowers just because.
• Introduce yourself to the grocery store clerk, and start calling him by name.
• Bring coffee to a colleague.
• Tip well.
• Put a coin in an expired meter.
• Adopt your new co-worker - explain the email system and offer to answer any questions.

As you can see, some of these involve giving money and some do not. And all of them are small everyday things. You are sure to find generous things to do in your own life; let the string on your wrist remind you to look for them.