According to a recent Washington Post-ABC News poll (Recession Taking Emotional Toll, New Poll Finds), “Stress and pessimism about the economy are closely related, as almost four in 10 who said the economy is getting worse also said they are under deep stress.” That same poll found that, of people who believe it is improving, a majority of those people called the economy a source of stress. So what can you do to ease your stress and feel better? Sharon Salzberg suggests asking a key question:

What do I really need right now, in this moment, to be happy?
- Sharon Salzberg

Sharon Salzberg

Salzberg is a Buddhist teacher and author, and cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Barre, Massachusetts. In her article in Shambala Sun, Salzberg gives a number of examples to show that, in a moment when you are experiencing unhappiness or stress, if you can try to identify something immediate that will make you happy – that is not in the future or unreachable – it may change the moment so that you can be satisfied.

She also talks about how generosity can make us free – by challenging our craving, attachment, and clinging to things, which brings confinement and lack of self-esteem. In freeing up ourselves when we give, we also give freedom to others, she says,

If we give a gift freely, without attachments  …it celebrates  freedom both within ourselves as the giver and in the receiver.  In that moment, we are not relating to each other in terms of roles or differences.   In a moment of pure giving, we really become one.

Salzberg also brings the idea that feeling we have enough can relieve us from feeling wanting and allow us to be generous to others. She says,

One of the great joys that comes from generosity is the understanding that no matter how much or how little we have by the world’s standards, if we know we have enough, we can always give something.

These are very important questions to ask ourselves in this time of recession and uncertainty:

• How much is enough?
• How much do I really need?
• What non-material things will stimulate me and make me feel good?
• How do I live more in the moment and experience more gratitude?

The only difference between needing more and having enough is your attitude.
It costs you nothing to decide that you have enough.
- Ralph Marston

We are not fighting a losing battle,
there are so many beautiful things that we should be encouraged by.
- Majora Carter

Majora Carter

Majora Carter is an urban environmental pioneer. When asked about her responses to the ongoing economic crisis, she states that we were already in a moral crisis. Along with her other suggestions, she intimates that people have had many dormant or undeveloped skills and ideas, which are now being mobilized because there is a new urgency to respond to. She says, the tools have always been there. What resources do you have; resources that have not found expression, that have been in reserve, that you can now respond with - to help us all get through this moral and economic crisis?

From 2001 to 2008, Majora Carter she was the founder and executive director of the non-profit Sustainable South Bronx, where she pioneered green-collar job training and placement systems in one of the most environmentally and economically challenged parts of the U.S.A. Carter is a MacArthur Foundation fellow and now has her own economic consulting firm. She was interviewed as part of Speaking of Faith’s ongoing series Repossessing Virtue, about the world-wide economic crisis. Carter says that many people would have agreed that morally, people should not be dying of starvation or perpetrating environmental damage, however she looked for a way to help people address these issues. Her reasoning was that if we could reframe these things as a pragmatic, economic problem and that it would be in our best economic interests to change, then people would stand up and take notice. How much more urgent are these calls now that the world economy is so rocky?

What is Carter doing differently in this economic maelstrom? She says she is trying to be much more joyful, deliberately so. She is taking time to appreciate all that we have; all that she has. That is what is going to make the work much more joyous.

Carter was told recently: a crisis is a terrible thing to waste.  She says that, in the 10 or 11 years that she had been doing urban environmental work, she has seen not just parks developed where there were former dump sites, but she has seen people’s lives changed. She has seen people coming from families that lack the understanding that they could even have jobs, come to the understanding that they can be really powerful and that the fruits of their labor can help a tree grow and help their family survive. The tools have always been there, she says, we have just not been comfortable enough and confident enough in our ability to help make things happen.

Knowing that I am not always going to be on the receiving end;
that I have something to give, and just giving it.
That is where I get my strength.
- Majora Carter

Here is Carter speaking at the Dream Reborn event:

It is the ordinary people who are going to pull us out of this.
It is us that have to do something different.
- Naomi Remen

Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen

What are you doing in your own life to change our global economic downturn? So that our human society becomes more sustainable? Are you saving more, sharing more, hoarding more, spending more, giving more away? What is the right thing to do and how do you know that? Dr. Remen suggests some even deeper questions will lead you to your own answers.

Rachel Naomi Remen is a wise older woman. She has cared for people with cancer and their families for almost 30 years and is the Co-Founder and Medical Director of the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. Dr. Remen is also the Clinical Professor of Family and Community Medicine at the UCSF School of Medicine and the author of Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal and My Grandfather’s Blessings: Stories of Strength, Refuge and Belonging.

In a brief interview with Kate Moos of the radio program Speaking of Faith, Dr. Remen makes the extraordinary observation that because money is something you can actually touch, it is the densest form of both stored human energy and of human community, otherwise it is just paper.  She says that this energy follows our beliefs and the economy is based on people’s shared beliefs. What is a good life? she asks. The answer to that question drives our economy.

Remen suggests that, if you want to find out who a person is, you might find out by following them around and see how they spend their money, and what they spend it on. Doing this you will be able to determine their story about life, about themselves, about what is important to them. So what do we believe now? What are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, about other people, about the world? What are the stories that have become our operations manuals? Remen suggests that collectively we have been operating based on these stories:

• I am alone. I have to count on myself. No one will come and help me.
• The more things I have, the more happy I will be. My goal in life is comfort.
• I am not safe.

Remen believes that we have been based on fear for a long time. With this fear, our human energy has become stagnant, our money has become stagnant, and our stories have become fixed and inflexible; these stories have been much too small. The opportunity during this time of economic crisis is to change the story; we are larger than our stories, we are part of a much larger story.

The economy is a pointing finger to a spiritual emptiness
we have been experiencing for a long time.
-Naomi Remen

So how do we change our stories, individually and collectively? Dr. Remen suggests that we contemplate 3 key questions:

• What can I trust?
• What can sustain me?
• What do I really need in order to live?

These questions lead us to a deeper, more passionate, better way of living and a much deeper connection to a larger reality. Once we have the beginnings of the answers to these questions, we will start forming new stories about money and its role in our lives. These stories will lead us to actions we can take to deal with the economic downturn and to heal our economic system.

What star are you using to guide your boat through this life?
Often you can see the light from your star only after it has grown dark.
- Naomi Remen

Here is a brief excerpt of Dr. Remen speaking about how individuals are the key to changing our world, not experts:

Fear builds walls. Fearlessness builds bridges.
- Bunan Unsui

Bert Larh as the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz

According to the Online Etymological Dictionary, the word donation originates from Middle French, circa 1425, and from the Latin donatio, circa 10th century BC. This dictionary also suggests a comparison to the even older Sanskrit word danam, circa 1200 BC. This oldest form of a word for generosity may help us understand how to be fearless in this time of economic uncertainty.

The Sanskrit term Dána (from danam) is used in the Buddhist tradition as one of the 6 Perfections or Paramitas. According to Bunan Unsui, a Buddhist monk, these perfections represent passage points from suffering (Samsara) to happiness and awakening (Nirvana).  According to Unsui, the Dána Paramita (or Perfection of Generosity),

is the practice of giving freely, without attachment or expectation. This can be giving in the monetary sense, or giving of our time, our love, and ourselves - giving of our presence. Regardless of what is given, or why it is given, the very act of giving must, by definition, involve the act of ‘letting go’ by one of the parties involved.

Unsui provides 3 types of giving in the Dána Paramita, 1) giving of wealth or material resources, 2) giving of teaching, and 3) giving of fearlessness. He says,

Courageousness and bravery are not products of the reduction of fear, but of transcending fear… of going beyond fear… of acting according to our values despite the presence of fear!

So the question is, how can we hold and recognize our fears, whether they are about our current economic situation, our prospects in the foreseeable future, or even what will happen to our resources many years from now, and still act concurrently with our values? According to this Buddhist tradition, by being fearless and continuing to be generous, we are not only benefiting ourselves and moving along a path to happiness, we are also giving fearlessness to others.

Think about it. Letting go of your fear and acting that out through being generous in giving to others, your gifts can not only provide for the material needs of others, but can also inspire them to be brave and move toward a fearless place themselves.

Buddha Teaching Fearlessness by FrogBoots http://my.opera.com/FrogBoots/blog/

If you knew what I know about the power of generosity,
you would not let a single meal go by without sharing it.
—Buddha

Receiving is an art…
So many people have been deeply hurt because their gifts were not well received.
Let us be good receivers.
- Henri Nouwen

Giving and receiving are locked as dynamic actions. There can be no giver or gift without a receiver, and how we are as recipients affects how we are as givers. For this reason, it is almost impossible to talk about giving without also commenting on receiving and vice versa. Consideration of what recipients are needing, hoping for, and receptive to will help us to be better at giving. Some studies have shown that there may be gender differences in how we receive and a popular book discusses how the specific forms a gift is given in will make a difference in how well-loved we feel.

In a study about women and gifts of flowers, pens and other objects, Rutgers University professor of psychology Jeannette Haviland-Jones revealed findings about the reactions of the recipients and  tied these to the form of gift given. In Haviland-Jones’ study, participant’s responses to being given gifts included true smiles, improved episodic memory and positive moods, which lasted even three days later. As compared with other gift objects, flowers provoked instant delight and happiness, and induced powerful positive emotions. Based on these findings, there seem to be few negative reactions or impediments to the women receiving these gifts. In fact, the gifts seem to create some powerful positive effects.

By contrast, Todd Kashdan, associate professor of psychology at George Mason University did a study of gratitude, the emotion of thankfulness and joy in response to receiving a gift in men and women.  Kashdan’s previous studies have found that gratitude is one of the main elements in creating happiness and meaning in life. In this study, he found that men are much less likely to feel and express gratitude than women. By contrast, women reported feeling less burden and obligation and greater levels of gratitude when presented with gifts than men. An additional finding was that older men reported greater negative emotions when the gift giver was another man. So receiving may be easier for women than for men – especially for men if the giver is of the same gender.

These are studies of relatively small groups of people and account only in a limited way for individual interaction styles and other factors. However, if we consider that every person, regardless of gender identification, has aspects that might be labeled masculine and feminine; it may make it easier to consider these generalities. Still it does indicate that, in order to achieve greater pleasure and well-being, that feminine ways of receiving may have something to teach those who tend toward more masculine pitfalls in receiving.

There is a popular book by Christian author Dr. Gary Chapman, called The Five Love Languages. Although the original book (there are now a number of versions) is geared toward heterosexual married couples, it is based on the interesting idea that we will feel more loved if we are given gifts in the format of our preference. These 5 formats, or languages, are what are referred to in the book title.  They include:

• Words of Affirmation - where the recipient prefers verbal appreciation
• Quality Time – where the recipient prefers focused attention
• Receiving Gifts – where the recipient prefers tangible or material expressions
• Acts of Service – where the recipient prefers assistance with their responsibilities
• Physical Touch – where the recipient prefers bodily contact & embrace

This focus on the person receiving the gift, considering what will make them feel loved, and providing the language to explore and convey these preferences seems extremely helpful. One of the versions of The Five Love Languages is a Men’s Edition. Although I have not read the book, from what I can find about it on the web, it seems to speak primarily to traditional gender roles within a marriage – where men sometimes struggle in their role as givers (of affection, gifts, erotically, etc.) to the women who are the recipients. I am sure this provides valuable assistance. Based on the studies cited above, it seems that the men could use some help being receivers as well.

Giving presents is a talent; to know what a person wants, to know when and how to get it, to give it lovingly and well.
Unless a character possesses this talent there is no moment more annihilating to ease than that in which a present is received and given.
- Pamela Glenconner

Photo by Joey Looch

How do you interact with the charitable organizations that you support, or are considering supporting? Unless your concerns are extremely local, and are being addressed by non-profit organizations right in your own community, you will probably never be in their offices or see them working on the issue you care about. You may never even go to an event sponsored by that organization or benefiting their organization. How do you find out about them and interact with them? In all probability, it will be through the web and your relationship may always be through the web. Forward thinking for-profit businesses are working to “humanize” their interfaces, led by their web communications, and engage their customers. How well do you think you are being welcomed as a human being by the charities you support? And, since many non-profits are addressing the needs of other humans, what does that say about the work these charities do with their beneficiaries?

As both domestic nonprofits and international non-governmental organizations (NGOs) have grown into huge enterprises, they are less bound by the constraints that govern smaller and single-community organizations, while being more dependent on web communications. However, these nonprofits and NGOs also face greater scrutiny and demand for transparency than ever before because they manage complex networks of relationships with internal and external stakeholders at all levels. As contributors expect more humane and permeable interfaces, transparency, and ways to engage with these organizations, how can thier work carry forward productively?

Co-Creation

Taking off from similar dialogues in the corporate community, what I am suggesting to nonprofits, and to their contributors (and let’s not forget their beneficiaries!) is nothing less than co-creation. Fresh Networks is a UK based market research company and online community builder for corporations. Their blog looks at customer interfaces and has been advocating co-creation models for online businesses. Fresh Networks writes that co-creation will make businesses successful because:

1. Customers want to help and work with brands they know are listening to them
2. Customers want to solve problems
3. All too often the solution or idea you need will be really simple to somebody else

This can be applied to nonprofits to read:

1. Contributors want to help and work with nonprofits they know are listening to them
2. Contributors want to solve problems
3. All too often the solution or idea your beneficiaries need will be really simple to somebody else (like your contributors!)

For instance, check out the example from this for-profit toy manufacturer: The Story of LEGO® Mindstorms on Patty Seybold’s blog Outside Innovation. LEGO® literally had its customer’s create their products and then sold them commercially. This expanded their reach, their vision, and their effectiveness (at selling LEGO®). Imagine what could happen in all of the passion and intelligence you hold as a contributor was really unleashed on our charitable needs? What would happen if all contributors were unconstrained in their passion to solve the problems they care about? What could that mobilized force for good do for humankind and our planet?

Many nonprofit organizations are already doing small pieces of co-creation through their web pages; microfinance and direct-funding (like DonorChoose.org) organizations are already engaged. What other non-profits are co-creating with their contributors and beneficiaries? Please comment (below) and trumpet for your own organization’s efforts or share what you know.

Photo by brickartist.com